Friday, February 22, 2013

Planning, preparation, patience. It's all coming to an end. Rapidly replaced. Acting, action, ability in it's place.

I spend my days planning this move. I research, and network, and research some more. Then I clear out some closet. Then I research my planning. All this planning has occupied my thoughts and words and life. Now that the time to act on it is here. I have a minute to be nervous. Not so much nervous as DOWNRIGHT TERRIFIED! I don't know anyone else who has ever made a move like this. I have no litmus measure of the acidity. I have no scale to weigh the weight of this choice. I have no models of the covalent bond between myself and this new adventure. No way of knowing what parts of me I will give up and share, and no way of knowing what parts will attach and complete me. All these months of gathering facts, and at the pinnacle, it's still the complete unknown.

Sean is leaving in less than a week. I will follow shortly thereafter. The twins will be about 3 months behind. They are finishing the school year here with their father. I am clearing out possessions and often pause to wonder why? Why did we become attached to all this stuff? Part of the choice to move to Belize was because I wanted the kids to see that the world does not revolve around possessions. I am hoping to show them how much beauty is in the inhabitants of this planet. So much more out there waiting, growing, and evolving...Although the Walmart has gotten MUCH larger, there was no growth. It's just stuffed with more stuff. Possessed by possessions. I want more for my kids. I want less for myself. I am completely consumed by the plan. It now possesses me. The baskets and candle holders and big screen TV's are just my ball and chain.

I live in and am surrounded by the plan. The plan is the cocoon, I began it a pupa. I hope I have spent enough time on my wings. The imago arrives!

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